To be posted VERY LOW on the refrigerator door - nose height.[FONT='Courier New']
[/FONT]Dear Dogs and Cats,[FONT='Courier New']
[/FONT] [FONT='Courier New']
[/FONT]The dishes with the paw print are yours and contain your food. The[FONT='Courier New']
[/FONT]other dishes are mine and contain my food. Please note, placing a paw[FONT='Courier New']
[/FONT]print in the middle of my plate and food does not stake a claim for it[FONT='Courier New']
[/FONT]becoming your food and dish, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing[FONT='Courier New']
[/FONT]in the slightest.[FONT='Courier New']
[/FONT]The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack. Beating[FONT='Courier New']
[/FONT]me to the bottom is not the object. Tripping me doesn't help because I[FONT='Courier New']
[/FONT]fall faster than you can run.[FONT='Courier New']
[/FONT]I cannot buy anything bigger than a king sized bed. I am very sorry[FONT='Courier New']
[/FONT]about this. Do not think I will continue sleeping on the couch to ensure[FONT='Courier New']
[/FONT]your comfort. Dogs and cats can actually curl up in a ball when they[FONT='Courier New']
[/FONT]sleep. It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each or stretched out to the fullest extent possible. I also know that sticking[FONT='Courier New']
[/FONT]tails straight out and having tongues hanging out the other end to[FONT='Courier New']
[/FONT]maximize space is nothing but sarcasm.[FONT='Courier New']
[/FONT]For the last time, there is not a secret exit from the bathroom. If by[FONT='Courier New']
[/FONT]some miracle I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is[FONT='Courier New']
[/FONT]not necessary to claw , whine, meow, try to turn the or get your[FONT='Courier New']
[/FONT]paw under the edge and try to pull the door open. I must exit through[FONT='Courier New']
[/FONT]the same door I entered. Also, I have been using the bathroom for years[FONT='Courier New']
[/FONT]-- canine or feline attendance isn't required.[FONT='Courier New']
[/FONT]The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dog or cat's butt.[FONT='Courier New']
[/FONT]I cannot stress this enough![FONT='Courier New']
[/FONT]To pacify you, my dear pets, I have posted the following message on our[FONT='Courier New']
[/FONT]front[FONT='Courier New']
[/FONT]door:[FONT='Courier New']
[/FONT]To All Non-Pet Owners Who Visit & Like to Complain About Our Pets:[FONT='Courier New']
[/FONT]1. They live here. You don't.[FONT='Courier New']
[/FONT]2. If you don't want their hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture.[FONT='Courier New']
[/FONT](That's why they call it "fur"niture.)
3. I like my pets a lot better than I like most people.[FONT='Courier New']
[/FONT]4. To you, it's an animal. To me, he/she is an adopted son/daughter who[FONT='Courier New']
[/FONT]is short, hairy, walks on all fours and doesn't speak clearly.[FONT='Courier New']
[/FONT] [FONT='Courier New']
[/FONT]Remember: In many ways, dogs and cats are better than kids because[FONT='Courier New']
[/FONT]they:[FONT='Courier New']
[/FONT]1. Eat less[FONT='Courier New']
[/FONT]2. Don't ask for money all the time[FONT='Courier New']
[/FONT]3. Are easier to train[FONT='Courier New']
[/FONT]4. Normally come when called[FONT='Courier New']
[/FONT]5. Never ask to drive the car[FONT='Courier New']
[/FONT]6. Don't hang out with drug-using friends
7. Don't smoke or drink
8. Don't have to buy the latest fashions
9. Don't want to wear your clothes[FONT='Courier New']
[/FONT]10. Don't need a "gazillion" dollars for college.[FONT='Courier New']
[/FONT]And finally,[FONT='Courier New']
[/FONT]11. If they get pregnant, you can sell their children
Hey, that sounds like how it is at our house!!!! LOL. :rollin: :rollin: :rollin: :rollin: :rollin: :rollin:
Yep the ones with the fur coates rule. at least in my house.
THERE SPECIAL.
They need to be smacked.
Awesome
I like this post. ;)
My dog walked in the room and licked my arm while i was reading this... and everything is so true, the wife got a kick out of it too ( We're not the only ones..)
My dog used to lick my hand every morning, and yes all that is true lol.
yep for me to except my dog loves to drink...and then she wants to fight ..and then she starts the loving again...u know shes a tipical drunk
11. If they get pregnant, you can sell their children
that part really made me laugh :rollin:
sounds the same at my place too.
They forgot the part where my two labs love to dig under the fence to get out.;) But other than that very true.
Me too, although Hunter didn't find it quite as amusing. ;)
Hahahahahaha..I love it. In my house that whole story fits quite well, of course there are....and at last count.........
1 Maltese
1 Bulldog (has about 5 teeth left, is mostly blind and deaf)
1 Boxer
1 Chihuahua
1 Siamese cat
1 (big ass white fluffy cat)
1 Hairless rat
1 Yorkshire Terrior
2 Mallory Ducks (at least they live outside)
There are 5 bedrooms in the house and the animals use them all. I'm just glad we got rid of the two great danes, a pot belly pig (coyote got it) and the kids came home with a couple of boxer puppies.(they stayed all of about 10 mins)
So I can agree with that letter.